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Preparing for a Hen Do with Fibromyalgia

I'm not going to lie, I've got an insanely busy few months coming up. As someone who is used to spending a lot of time alone, this is genuinely so different to my normal life, but I'm so happy about it! I did a quick post earlier this year going over some of the things I've got going on this year, so I thought I'd share some posts about how I'm preparing for these with regards to my fibro.
First up I've got two hen do weekends for two amazing bride to be's this year. I am so excited and crazily happy that I've been asked to attend. I've got one in Benidorm and one in Leeds, and they're both going to be jam packed with activities to make it an unreal time. But with this comes a lot of preparation on my end, to make sure I know I can have a fantastic weekend without a dreaded fibro flare. Whilst I'm fully expecting to need a bit of recovery after, I'd like to try and make it through both weekends without a flare up.
1. Start Preparing …

The Fibro Diaries | Am I Ready to Date with a Chronic Illness



I oringinally wrote this post for The Unchargeables, but I thought I'd share it on my blog as well, it's a post I've been wanting to write for a while.

Being single and looking for a relationship at 24 can be difficult enough, but add a chronic illness into the mix and it can really throw a spanner in the works. Everyone and their dog are moving in, getting engaged/married or they're having babies, and you're just there trying to get through the day without being in immense pain from pushing yourself too far the day before. I became single around the same time I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia - cue the onslaught of panic thinking that I would be alone forever because my life was over right then and there. Newsflash: it definitely wasn't.

It's time to date yourself
I don't need to explain how important it is to practice self love. It's the age old lesson of learning to love yourself before you go on to start exploring relationships again. For anyone, this is a hugely important thing, but I think it's especially important for those living with a chronic illness. I know for me, I started to question everything about myself. So 'dating' yourself can really help when it comes to getting ready to get back on the horse! So learn all about yourself again, your likes and dislikes, and all your hobbies too. How can you tell someone all about yourself if you don't even know anymore?

What are you looking for
In this day and age, it can be difficult to find someone you like who's looking for all the same things as you. In the days of Tinder and all the other dating apps out there, it's a lot easier to get lost in the crowds of people looking for just a quick fling. For me personally, I just don't have the interest, time or effort for all of that, I'm ready to 'settle down' in some form. No, I'm not expecting marriage within the year, but I'm done with the casual dating where you end up catching feelings while the other person is talking to five other people. Done that, got the t shirt and it just was not worth it. It's good to decide what kind of person you are when it comes to your love life. I'm 100% a relationship kind of gal, I'm terrible at 'being single', so I've spent the time to find exactly what I want out of a relationship, and it's a good idea for you to do the same.

Are you ready?
The most important thing. Chronic illnesses can take a lot out of you, you might have experienced a relationship breakdown lately, or you're maybe just enjoying being 'just you' right now. No use rushing into relationships if you're not mentally or physically ready for it. It's hard to remember that sometimes, when you're single you end up having people asking you on a regular basis if you're seeing anyone new. But there's absolutely no need to rush into any relationship, you have enough on your plate! It's also good to think about whether you're ready to be sharing your chronic illness with someone. I went a few months never bringing it up, but at the end of the day, it's something I have to live with so now I don't hide it. It's good to figure out if you're ready for this too.

At the end of the day, relationships aren't the be all and end all, but that doesn't mean you're a terrible person for wanting one. I'm still stuck on point three, I can't be sure if I'm 100% ready yet, but that's okay. I'm enjoying my life and I'm working really hard on managing my chronic pain, and that takes up enough of my time!

If you've got any stories - both good and bad - about dating, I'd love to hear your experiences!

Abbey xx


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